alive

after all the drama and psychobabble i've been hearing for months and months...
i feel relieved. renewed, alive.

is it bad that i feel this way?
i like to think it's not.
i have been through some bullshit from someone who i never expected it from and now i am free.

really, i wonder if i'm crazy. does that make sense?
once i shut that door rather harshly (entirely necessary for my sanity), i feel like one million opportunities presented themselves.

opportunities and chances that had fallen to the wayside because so much effort (?) had been put into trying to make my point. so much effort to try to make my FRIEND...not my family or my husband or me...but my FRIEND, happy.

way to sound selfish, but i will right now.

what about what I want? what about what i HAD wanted that i never got to do because someone else's hand needed to be held?

in the past week i have seen and spoken to more friends, had more opportunities presented to me, actually had the time to go get a manicure, pedicure with an amazing person, hang out with my family with no guilt...
and write! cook! bake! garden! throw around ideas and actually get to them...

ACTUALLY GET TO THEM!

given that i've heard some whoppers in my past, but nothing like the whoppers i've heard these last few months. i will NOT put myself through anything that i feel i do not deserve anymore.

i deserve better than what i had been putting up with.

i'm so excited about so much, it's really quite ridiculous- and i wanted to share...

whatever you feel is holding you back, fix it.
toxic friend? end it.
negative energies? really not worth your time.

 they hold you back!
be free :)

love,
mg